If you're having trouble getting pregnant, you may experience it as a crisis, as for many people, the idea of becoming a parent becomes part of their self-image. They may feel that this wish will not be fulfilled when, they still not have a baby after a long period of trying. The feeling of "being healthy" is shattered, and a sense of helplessness and loss of control emerges, because although the couple follows all of the doctor's suggestions, the long-awaited baby does not arrive. When the problem is found to be physical (and often shared by both partners), self-deprecation and self-blame set in, and anxiety, sadness, and hopelessness creep into everyday life. In group therapy, we focus on ensuring that during this emotionally stressful time, the couple have coping mechanisms and techniques to fall back on when the negative emotional spiral starts. Such a crisis can be very constricting, it is difficult to recharge, to relax, as the frequency of tests and interventions will always remind the couple of what they are struggling with, even when they could be relieved of some of the burden. While these feelings are natural and experienced by many who share these experiences, the aim of the therapy is to keep them low intensity and manageable. During the sessions we work together to ensure that having a baby (whether through insemination or IVF) is not a time of gloom, anxiety and depression because of uncertainty. My aim is to help you to refocus and be able to draw on experiences (even if they are small everyday things) that you will remember fondly in later years and that you can tell that this period was not just about desperate waiting.
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